Rainy days

2010-05-11T08:25:00.000-07:00

Hehe ... !

What a day , sprain my wrist again =(.
Neh mind Neh mind it's gonna recover very soon though.
Went to allegra's class just now , had a blast !

hmm.. " Dance is nothing without music , Dance is nothing without soul. Hit the beats to make it flow and i love to dance ! ".

Going to somerset this thursday for fredy's hip hop 2 ! hope i can learn more then.

Class is rather fun , i've realise. Ending this moment here!
Rather to hate you i've starting to forget all about you , it's kinda easy though.
Easiler than i thought it would be. Well.. good luck with life , i'm not a saint but i'm never a bad person to curse you. It just hurted so much that i rather skip the pain. The pain of how happy you actually are.

This is the last post ! Keep on keep on dancing !

2010-05-06T09:17:00.000-07:00

Holy shit!
So Tired after the training ....

Not really happy these days , kinda keep myself occupied with thoughts of training and more training!. Hees.. quite fun though , met many new friends around.
Met this amazing dancer at L.A class just now. she's rather cool though.

Have you regret doing something bad to someone? I did , i guess.
Did't mean to talk back in class , only made things awkward.
But hey , i'm no pushover too.

There's always the anger in me , i release it though dance. After so many things that happened this week , it's the only thing left to comfort me.
I can still dance , i still have the swag and this is the moment in my life.
Never stop dancing , never stop getting better and stronger everytime.

Gonna go join d3 , hope to meet more friends there and i heard there's alot of girls there!
YAY-NESS.

I came to realise how much i am hating you, in the end i'm still no good i guess. Not good looking enough for you , not funny enough. The first time you told me the crap you just gave me it was 2 years ago around this time . I was angry , sad , regretfull and pain. But now , only anger.
How i wished i have never known you. I've lost in this war , but it only make me stronger and i'll improve i guess. Not to say i'm not in anywrong , i hate myself more than anything. Just need to live though i guess , hating is the best way to keep the hurt away.

There's better girls out there , where the fields are greener and kinder. I'll sprint to the other field where sadness will never hurt me again.

2010-04-12T08:52:00.000-07:00

I'm gonna socialise now ^^

2010-01-10T04:45:00.000-08:00

Hey Hey , it's sunday !

yep yep.

I'm rather free this days, other than the fact that i have CATS project to do.

Hees , went to bugis with kang and the boys .

FUN !

i've got my self new short and T-shirts ^^.

i don't know why , but i feel that these days i've been disturbing others just to keep myself occupied and less-bored. So i shall not disturb anyone liao =).

Wee~ i'm gonna go start on CATS now .

Looking forward to An An's open class!

Hmm... had fish & co at bugis with the guys. The New york fish and chip was goooood =D and went to watch a movie with them.

Somehow , i've realise that no matter what happens true friends stay by your side no matter what. Some friends are only friends to joke with while others you can trust and believe.

HaHa , cheers =)

2010-01-06T08:18:00.000-08:00

Sian Sian Sian

failed my del =( lucky the teach passed me when i asked for more marks =D
Sian laaa

i'm slowly improving =D i know i can dance better and better and be the greatest street dancer!

2010-01-05T04:24:00.000-08:00

Good tuesday !
YAY got new ear stud/ring , i don't really know what it's called studs or ring =/ .

I keep noticing what a sotong i am , i have been knocking onto bus handles , doubledecker bus's celling or the lamp post =(. And worst still i almost fell at the bus stop =(( very paiseh and even worst rachel was behind me =((( .

Well.. at least something good happened to me today~ . I got back my Introduction to biomedical engineering's result . . . It's an A ! UP FIVE !
Tommorrow , i'm gonna go An An open lesson as a present to myself !!
Hee Heeeee!

2009-10-17T10:50:00.000-07:00

Hey hello peeps.

It's been such a nice dayyyy.

Went to boonlay for K-boxing session with Big Nee Small Nee And MrArmyMan !
LOL.

I bet if they saw this they will definately kill meeeee BUT i'm not scared! coz i am 疯子!!

Morning went to find small auntie and 4th auntie so that we would go together.

But i was losttt , it's not my fault i did not understand what they mean by their T字路口 T.T
but overall i had much fun there. i gave my best to sing my lungs out.

世界的一切让人无发呼吸,可是只要生命里有那某种快乐.
一个人的开心就可以让那喘不过气的日子好过一些＾＾

2009-05-23T09:53:00.000-07:00

Yeah man !

Finally posted after a long time !

Hmm.. for this time i wannashow an amazing video ! even though i'm not into reggage but this two people are A M A Z I N G !

Their hits are so damn powerfull !

How i wished i can hit as strong as them but never mind ! I shall train untill i can dance like a pro soooo woots i love hip hop !

2009-03-21T00:38:00.001-07:00

When things are not well /.

2009-03-10T08:57:00.000-07:00

GOOD TUESDAY !

Finally got my off days =) so i've decided to read through my emails~

While reading through the emails , i've came across a email that X sent me =/

i don't know whether it's true or not ...

but when a person is in love , they would tend to hide away from the truth won't they ?

I don't know , but i think i actually believed in her =) .

It's always came to this ....

ANYWAY ~

today i went to dian xiao er to give my photo =) !

haha , tao jie was like 亲爱的你来了啊? lol .

so funny =X .

She was rather shock to see the photo cause it was taken few years back !

haha , she was like 着是你吗?还是你弟弟? LOL.

Yide is sick of taking bus =X and if you ask why i would just tell you that i'm having car sick =/

Weak ass right ? LOL .

YIDE WANTS TO PLAY BASKET BALL !

But everyone hardly wants to =( .

ANYWAY ! i've decided to go for a run tommorrow evening ~ !

been sooo ~ long since i last ran .

2009-03-04T07:11:00.000-08:00

HELLO !

A picture i took with kaingee and yangnee at 小舅house =) .

I shall make some wishes !

I WISH TO GROW TALLER , PLEASE ?

I WANT MORE $$$ ! $.$

I WANT TO FIND A JOB !

hehe , okay that's about it .

ANYWAY !

People REMEBER THE DEADLINE IS THIS WEEK HOR !

surprise surprise ~ hehe ~.

Secret secret =X

hmmm.... i also want to thank some people for making a different for my life =)

First is my FAVOURITE COUSIONS !

Kaingee who cheered me up recently
Yanngee for being so funny !
Edmund who coach me during o level.
He zhou for being laughter to the family

Friends !

Baokang , for lending me a shelter during difficult times
Yee ying who brought the luminious puzzle ! (WJ and BK too!)
Wenjie for accompanying me through my B day~
HOSOON who brought me the shirt and being a good friend !
Aik Chye for being a good joker !
Weepeng for being such a nice guy
Christ for being a good friend !
AND ALL others who wished me a Happy B day !

v^^v

i shall continue my EMOING D:

2009-02-17T05:41:00.000-08:00

Good night !
It's been quite some time since i last updated =/
Since my internet CRASH-ED
kinda stupid of me =X
Hehe , managed to earn a title in the company !
but i don't think i'm doing well there ....
recruitment agency isn't my cup of tea ...
it's more like Oolong Cha then Lue cha .
different you know ?

The fun part about this job is that you get to see lots of dramatic resumes there The way in which everyone's trying to impress the reader is kinda intersting . However there's many good and talented people there . There's a resume and it's quite a amazing one . The person actually understands 5 lauguages ! hmm.. malay , chinese , english , spanlish , french . i think that was it's still rather cool .

I've noticed the sign on smrt bus saying that the driver cannot acceed a certain limits .
But when i've noticedthat , the bus driver went ZOOM~ !
lol , he even drive without noticing that it was the red light .
When i turn around , everyone had a funny facial expression .
O.O

LOL , almost laugh out loud in the bus .

oh , well... I CAN'T WAIT FOR GENTING-ING with friends man !
hmm... i hope i won't be staying in a haunted hotel room ><
i'm not fond of things that can't be explained by science ><

2009-01-25T18:57:00.000-08:00

HAPPY NEW YEAR .
Even though there's nothingto be happy for .
Haha , idk .

how i wished , i've never met you .
痛,彻彻底底.
好希望,就着样沉睡着.
一个在水里的鱼,
一个不知所错的鱼.
我的池里的水,被太阳晒干.
我期待那一天,可以下起鱼来.
alrighty then .
i hope i could get my results sooner.
and ... iwant to go singapore poly ,
DFI

2009-01-23T05:51:00.000-08:00

Hellos ~

It's was a bright morning !

Hehe , woke up looking half dead today =/

perhaps i shall sleep earlier today !!

Why ? because it's gonna be a busy busy busy busy day tommorrow !!!

okay.... let's seee... oh , i have 20 plus PO to check tommorrow ?

OH MI GAWD !

I was late again =) as usual =X

haha , can't blame me for the bus being slow huh?

when the time i reached my working desk , i've realised that some one took my pens AGAIN .

Okay , that really pissed me off.

and therefore i brought those cheap ones upstairs and pasted some notes

Saying:

" Please keep your paws off thing item .

This item belongs to the frozen department .

If used , please return it .

AND this item is not brought by your grandfather and neither am i your grandfather .

By - Stacker yide . "

Some funny jokes while working .

Yide was walking across when yiqiu asked .

"ei , where's my balls ? "

"huh? i don't know ? when have you last seen it ? "

"how would i know , someone might have stolen it and cook it ."

"huh ??!! what kind of balls were you talking about ? "

"fishballs "

"OH ! "

2009-01-22T06:14:00.000-08:00

I woke up smiling .
Woke up , thankfully .
It was a peacedfull dream , a dream without her
And therefore I slept like a baby .
I zipped up all the sorrows , the emotions and the memories . I threw it into the sea ,
hoping that along the island , someone would find and unzip it to find something good for themself.
I had lost my chance , now ... we had became strangers .
Maybe i might cross through your route again .. i might say hi , or i might not .
i don't know .
i'm not even bothered to find out .
i need time to rest.
Let me reasure myself.
Let me re-introduce myself.
I am yide .
I am the made up of what i want to be .

BOO ! >:(
i had a bad day at work .
lol , i don't know if it's counted bad .
But that retarded uncle kept scolding 他妈的.
Oh , nice .... he managed to ruin my day .
But never-the-less i managed to shock him with my " 我不屌,你自己找" Attitude.
哈哈！
he was shocked staring . haha , serve him right .
It's not my problem anyway .
aww.. i did patonise him for a few minutes since he's a customer .
Lol , jin zhen auntie kept telling me that 经理　did't come to work today .
haha , he's hopeless anyway .
Jin zhen auntie who was 50 + could do fold times of work more than him .
He was just a 28 years guy . And he work as if he's gonna die if i poke him in the arm.

Hehe , i managed to slack for quite a while .
how ? during these peak hours?
lol , i went to the toilet for 15 mins ? for ? Sms lorrh .

This supplier from top gourmet pissed me off ... he's dead meat =]
He came with a PO and told me .
" 小弟，ＰＯ你自己找啊　，也顺便割单．我很忙啦＂
and there he stood , standing there as if he's got nothing to do with it .
DAMN !? I guess he thought i was a retard ?
he and his rudeness . Better watch out .
if he comes again with that crap , i'll ask him to not come again .
i don't care if our goods don't come .
It's not as if he's the only one selling lime juice.
i could had ask ahkian 大哥 to call his boss to give him a lecture .
haha ! and he would be fined with $300 .
=X.

The new guy from upstairs seems very capable =)
which means i can do less work outside =))
Thumbs up for him ! Toes up for myself =)))
I wonder , when can i stop work .
Idk , soon ?
after chinese year i suppose.

Ah ben had his hair dyed red !
hmm... how i wished i can dye my hair too ..
but ever since my ear hole incident .
my mom seemed to be ... " if you do anything crazy again , i'll strangle you =] "
she's scary =X .

LOL , the 大哥　and aunties in the vegetable department kept calling me 帅哥　=X .
I don't even know if i am =/.

But when i asked the Fruits department auntie , she said i'm one of the better looking one here =)
Even with so many other good looking ones =X.

I think ever since i cut my hair and wore blue contact lenses , i became rather cute looking =X
haha , just kidding .
But , i had realised that that casher jie jie seems to have take a liking =/ .
i don't like it =/ .
if a cute meimei came to join SS , it would be great =/ .

AH ! look at the time now ...
I need to sleep already !
or i would be late and tech uncle/jin zi auntie would start to nag at me again =)

Good Evening

2009-01-18T06:51:00.000-08:00

Hello , sunday .

I can tell you this .
I love you too much not to care .
Every thing of me will be there for you .
I don't need anything , i only want you to be happy .
I'm unlike others who just want those they love to be happy .
I want you be extra happy , very happy .
I will deprive myself from love .
To suffocate myself .
To de-moralise myself .
To walk on fire , to continue giving you everything i have .
someone told me that i never treasure anyone /
yes because i did not know how .
Now i have learnt that i can say i want you , no matter how long i shall wait .
light up , light up .
i can't hardly say i understand ,
like you can raise your voice to say .

I am not pleased with my working attitude .
I shall be better .
Lesser jokes , more work .
I would value the high hopes that they had place for me .
High responsibilty , low salary and immerse work to be done .
What else can i ask for ?
Eh... maybe more off-days ?
*Smile* ehh.... please ? =X

2009-01-11T09:07:00.001-08:00

I do not know how to say it but .....
i'm nervous ...VERY nervous ...

i want to be in singapore poly but i hope the l1r5 is letting me fufill my dreams .
If , that's the case.
I would be extremely pleased.
Lmao , ruisi said that i looked like a small boy boy .
However i had to disagree =/.

Results are coming out soon !!!
but i can't sleep !
When the more i think of it , the more the senerios come popping out from my mind !
it's very scary>.

oh god please bleessssssss MEEE!!
bless me to get good grades !!!
i won't ask for much
just a l1r4 of 15 or below ><

Okay....
soo.... Cross your fingers and pray sincerely ! AMEN

2009-01-05T06:19:00.000-08:00

MONDAY IS A MUNDANE DAY

Lol , i heard yang shen saying this phrase before .
so... yeah today is a mundane day =/ .

i crawl out of bed at around 6.30 am and got change for work .
Taking slow and sleepy small step , i managed to get myself to the bus stop .
while walking there i couldn't stop ah-chiewing !
somehow the cold was getting to my nerves / Pissing me off .

it felt like a rusty tap that was leaking .
it was kind of irritating ! .
While i was waiting for 187 , i couldn't help but start thinking about the things i should be doing in this period of time when i was still in secondary school .
Like studying , fooling around and annoying each others .
It's no wonder why people kept telling me that studying is the best time of our life.
Since the time i started working , i realise the important of studies and dreams .
Ever since then , I've told myself .
If i can't do well for this , i might as well try again .
Again , again and again until i succeed in getting to a good school .
while patrolling along the shampoo department .
I came to realise that sing siong has a large variety of item !
I talked to the aunties in the department for quite some time , they were a intersting bunch of adults .
It felt as if each of them had their own story in life .
working there was a fruit-full experience .

around 12 pm , i went to take my lunch !
haha , good thing i remebered to ticked my lunch !
but the lunch they provide for us was not very good to shallow !
but when you are hungry , whatever thing that you can feed youself to , you would put it into your mouth without a second of hesitation .

The amount of things that i needed to do today was not too much ,
however i was panicked at around 1 pm when i was needed to check the list of item from the suppliers .
Trolly after trolly it came , i was working like the atomatic machine in a factory .
I was doing it non - stop until 3 pm .
After that i asked the permission to get some panadol for my cold .
Hopefully it will go away tommorrow ! =)
Cheers !
By the way .. Lin you jia rocks !

2009-01-01T06:55:00.000-08:00

2009 !

okay lets make a wish !

i wish i can get 15 or below for o level.
i wish i can get a cute girlfriend.
i wish i can be better looking =X
i wish i can try sky diving !!!! WOOOOOOOSSSHH~~
i wish i can learn to sing rock !!!! OHHHH YEAAAAHH !!!!
i wish i can be a genius . !
i wish i can learn street dancing !
i wish i can shake hand with eason chen , ling you jia and xin !
i wish my fringe cann never be cut off =X

okay !!!
please 2009 MAKE IT HAPPEN !
like , RIGHT NOW COME ON .
CHOP CHOP , no time to lose !

2008-12-29T06:33:00.000-08:00

Can't really explain this feeling .
This feeling is like a messed up remedy .
As if that tomorrow will never come,
It's like no matter how much i did
how long i wait is nothing but my own mistake .

I hope that you could tell me how you feel ,
please , let him go ..
let me into your heart.
I'm pleading outside this heavy chained door .
but you , disregard my feelings .
you , toss my heart , smash it , rip it apart .
yet you have this enjoyment in doing this .
I have lost , thoroughly.
I am glad you were there for me during the lonely period of time .
I was willing to do everything for .
Was , if that's the case .
Let it drown .
Let be drunk by the water I'm drinking .
Let's not be sober .
Under moonlight , let me release this feeling i had never shown.

It's been one month since i have work in sing siong !
HURRAY (there's nothing much to be happy though )
Lol , the beef store auntie kept on nag about me being late .
oh well ... it's difficult to wake up in a perfect weather =x.
It's like very very very difficult for me .
This lan jie =.=
Is a real detestable person
She's more of a guai lan , lao lan , xia lan kind of person .
laughs *

Lol , cheap smokes for $5 !
that's pretty cheap huh?
But , nevermind .
I was on patrol today when i noticed some pretty girls walking around .
* Laugh out loud * That's pretty random !

Today , ah jian taught me some Super duper intersting thing !
it's on the type of ice cream that's has the best taste !
Hehe , shall not leak out the company's secret =X .
Lol , the auntie here are very funny !
They filled in the resignation form with the reason " VERY UNHAPPY "
Laugh my foot out !
That's so cute =X
Sing siong is like a indoor gym .
but , the tempreture at the frozen department is kind of extreme .
it's about 10 degree below the norm tempreture outside !
oh my gawd !

FREEZING , *Shivers* >.<
HAHAS , but I'm immune to it due to the constant contact with it !
I'm a fast learner !
Not as in the unloading of item .
but the checking of goods !
I'm a natural talent .
so , cold storage and Ntuc .... BEWARE OF SING SIONG =X
THEY ARE A FORCE NOT TO RECKON WITH !

2008-12-25T07:02:00.001-08:00

Merry christmas.

It's a merry christmas isn't it?
But i feel so empty
It's so unbearable.
There's a illness that i got.
That any doctors can't cure .
that's a fight i must fight on.
it's my heart problem ,
my heart is lost.
it followed someone home.

A waall is between my heart and my mind.
they are contridicting,
my heart said that i love you .
my mind told me to let go of her.

i tried to reach out my hand but she turn and walked off.
in the midst of recovering from this heart break ,
i realised that you were feeling down .
i tried to comfort you but
"it's alright , i'm alright " you said.
I could see the tears in your eyes .
i wanted to hold you in my arms , wanting to comfort you.
But in my heart i knew , you would just push me away

you , kept crying for him .
he was never there for you .
but i'm here
everytime you felt unhappy or sad
i would call to comfort you .
to comfort you throughh the nights
to the morning.

This christmas.
he's probably playing with some other girls by now ,
you knew that
but you chose to be ignorant about it .
He was the cause of the tears
i however was man who stood by your side .
could you look at me for once ?

you told me that this christmas is the worst ,
without himby yourside .
But , what about me ?
you are right beside me ,
but i can't hold you ,
i can't tell you how much i love you .
i held back my feelings .
i had felt even more miserable.

did you remeber the time that i was with you ?
the time in which i always liked to stand in the rain .
did you knew the reason for that childish act of mine ?
it's because i do not want you to see these tears ,
let it flow away with the rain .
the tears for the irony that you were mine , but your heart was not .

when ever i think of it
i would sit in one corner and be feel miserable.
and yes , i was upset.
upset of life , upset by love.

To me :
Love is a unexpected tormenter .
a torturer , a monster , a undead.
But it was a gift , a cosy blanket , a pustoy , a game , a memory.
so brittle and gentle .

but it felt onto the ground and was smashed into pieces .
i tried to glue it back.
when ever i tried to pick the pieces up , it would scar my fingers
this immerse pain never felt evenmore wonderfull .
yet in this pain i felt the bitterness of my heart.
the pain , so unbearable yet it was like heroin
so addictive.

These broken pieces , was incomplete .
Like my heart .
it was smashed into bits.
Every piece of it contained my deepest happiness.

So , i shall forsake this heart that was damaged .

when i have decided to continue my life ,
and to find a new heart ,
i've came to realised that the heart was out of stock.
so i lived on , without one

2008-12-11T07:12:00.000-08:00

15 commitment to the person i want to love.

1) Hug her whenever she's feeling sad.
2) Get her whatever she wants.
3) Be there for her , Always..
no matter it's raining heavily or sunny.
4) Mature enought to take care of her.
5) play with her and make her happy.
6) Be a responsible and serious man in the family.
a true man who will protect his family at all cost.
7) Give her the perfect home.
8) Cook stuff for her.
9) Do housework for her.
10) Give her all the materialistic item for her to look cute all the time .
11) Shower her alll the love i can give.
12) Handphone is always there when she calls.
13) Never cheat on her.
14) Love her everysingle milisecond of my love.
15) Everything i do is just to make her smile.

Ten Commitment in work
1) Be there on time
2) Be serious in my work
3) Family First.
4) Girlfriend first.
5) Be a strong boss to take over father's company
6) earn the first bucket of gold in less than 28 years old.
7) Become a harsh and strong leader.
8) Become a strong person who will have no sympathy for the weak .
9) Will never lose my moral while working.
10) NO ONE SHALL EVER DECIEVE ME . NEVER , IF THEY DO , THEY'LL all die in the worst way .

Ten commitment to the family
1) Give mama and papa all they want.
2) Never abandom my family.
3) if both my parents and girl drop into the sea . Either i save them both or i shall drown myself while trying to save them.
4)Always be there for my family.
5) Be a kind and harsh father.
6) Let the father be the devil for the kids.
7) Provide money for them to spend.
8) A nice and perfect home .
9) family come first before anything else.
10) Bring them to church ever sundays.

WRITTEN IN BLOOD AND SOUL : CHUA YI DE.

2008-12-11T06:20:00.000-08:00

Recently...
i've been thinking ...
Why is everyone so happy but why am i not .
First i thought that i don't deserve to be happy... but the more i think of it , the more it does'nt make sense.

Then came my friends ... why am i not as unique as them ...
but one day euegene told me that i was very unique.
have i really have no confidence in my looks ?
No.. Euegene said i am good enough.
Then why am i so insecure?
why am i so afraid of feeling alone?
Why can't i find someone to love.
Why am i still back to square one ?
What is there that i have not try enough to change?
Why am i feeling so empty ?

Then the everyone told me .. because i am me .
But the true solution came.

Edmund said that to understand how everything works ,
understand yourself.
Be selfish when you want to . be self-centre because you are you .
Don't hesitate in doing things , be yourself.
A man must have faults to be a man .

First start from understanding what you like and you don't like .

Like

1) Sadistic cartoon . example : cute things torn apart.

2) Enjoy getting immerse in doing something i like.

3) Dreaming of the perfect girl to love.

4) Getting attention ..

5) To be thinking while listening to love songs.

6) Smashing basketball against the hood.

7) music .

8) Watching fun shows .

9) Looking in the mirror .

10) Laughing .

11) Daydream in the bus

12) look at beautifull scenery .

13) sitting under the tree falling asleep.

14) The Fresh morning .

15) The mysterious night .

16) Walking in the lonely streets .

17) Talking to myself.

Dislike

1) Selfish people.

2) Self-centre people.

3) People who mistook my true intention.

4) Backstabbing acts.

5) Things i do not understand. Example : ghost. But zombies and mutants are understandable.

6) The Whatever people .

7) The KAN anoying people.

8) The CCB sacastic people .

9) Hypocrites.

History
-Born in 1992 feb 27
-Live with kor kor and jiejie untill pri 3 .
-Got abuse in a tution centre.
-Had a crush with elaine in pri 6 .
-study in edmund house for 2 years .

-Had internet when i was secondary one.
Was a quiet boy when i was secondary one.
First love when i was in secondary 2 .
-Found interest in basket ball.

-First smoke in basketball court

-Second love
-First time holding hands with a girl
-Stupid idea of holding hand with her to guide her across the road.
-Really really shy .
-got dump by a sms =.=

-Left the ah beng group when i moved house to 432
-went to church
-Wanted to fuck god after pastor ruin my life.
-Third love
-being Treaten to hurt the second love
-broke up .

Secondary 3
-moved to bukit batok
-Got back with second love on feb 27/28.
-Third love torn us apart because i was weak .
-However am not able to get over her .
-Third love tried to harass .
-Depressed and almost tried sucide with cutting wrist .
-Stopped because second love invited me to her birthday party.
-third love harass again .
-Friends spoke up .
-Got depressed again .
-second love cheered me up.
-Failed badly for exams.
-retook exams and passed it.

Secondary 4
-Hook up in music by Dong ban shin ki
-Hook up in music by super junior.
-Fell in love with second love again ... ( Urhhh... =.= )
-rejected.

-Enjoyed the company of the class mate sitting beside me .
-noticed that she's quite cute and love-able.
-Wild life with friends.
-Friend stayed in my house.
-Studied quite hard .
-Secretly wanted to confess to classmate.
-Classmate confessed to me =))
-Agreed and first date during the holiday.
-was quite shock by how she wore.
-Was really really shy when she held my hand .
-Thought that i'm not good enough for her .
-Thought that i was not good looking enough to fall in love.
-Was afraid that others might laugh at us.
-Thought of many stuff , therefore neglected her .
-Broke up.
-gave letter and i almost wanted to tear it up .
-Told her that i was thankfull to be able to fall in love again

-Met her in chalet again .
-She was the first thing that caught my eye.
-Tried to firt with her .
-Failed , LMAO .
-When her friend said something redundent .
-I tried to walk off , because i was shy .
-called a friend that i was quite fond of.
-talked to her for during the chalet.
-Enjoyed talking to her.
-fell in love with talking to her on the phone .
-Girl return home on the second day .
-Became really restless.
Came back half dead.
Some one came to the house without trying to tell.
was Pissed off.
-Got a job
-Argued with friends.
Friend cheered me up.
Edmund talk sense into me.
-Friend's girlfriend's bday.
Got critise that i look and act abit like a girl .
Pissed off.
Went home thinking how to become man-lier.
-Changed.

Currently - stronger than before.

2008-12-01T05:21:00.000-08:00

I am not happy , not at all.

When was the last time my friends asked how i felt ?

i dont remeber .

Coz... i'm not happy when i'm with them .

not at all .

When you intrude into one person privacy thinking you know them enough to do that . So that's why i retaliated . and when you hurt my pride.

When you say things as if you knew me enough to judge who i am but do you know how much i took it in ? When you think of me as the worst guy around WITHOUT standing into my shoes .

When you fucking think your the king of the world while riding behind my back nodding to what you COMMANDED ME TO DO EVERYTIME YOU ASKFOR SOMETHING .
And hey , i want to know you . But i failed , because i lived with you and tell you the truth i am not a nice guy to live with if you keep demanding things fr0m me as if it's natural .

i had enough ...
i really have ...
I am crying .
My heart is crying .

do you know that i try my best to be a friend that you WANT me to be ?

but i'm tired i really am .

i had my share of pain while you think i have not.

you think that i am useless / pathetic when i am not .

you think that i'm clueless to the surroundings when i have known it , it's just how i want to react so that redundant stress is created .

i dislike the society not because of how it destroyed my confidence.

i am paranoid . thats much as i can say .

i am scared . For that's me .

i hide my feelings because i do not want anyone the hurt and in the result Life makes fun of me and Emotions let lose when i least want it to .

i am tired , thats why i wrote this post .

i don't care if you think of me as a asshole or a kid .

i don't want this to carry on ... i have did enough bad .

I cannot express my feeling well .

I am emo because something someone hurt my pride and i do not want to tell them to Fuck themselves .

I cries because i am sad.

I am gentle and open because i treat you as real friends.

I am in my laptop because i do not want to talk so much because i know it's gonna accidentally hurt someone .

I keep quiet because you said something that hurt me .

I am quiet because i refuse to irritate anyone .

I am lonely because of how surrounding treats me .

I am trying my best when no one is watching .

I hate it when all you say is a farce .

I love it when you encourage me .

I love all three of you because you are my pals .

I hate myself to say this to you because i love you so much to trouble you .

I am lost because i can't speak as freely as i could .

I am Glad because you let me into your refuge when my world was raining .

so..
Let the worst come .

2008-11-26T10:20:00.000-08:00

This can be a somehow determined post =).

No doubt, i still love you .
all the memories , it was that perfect summer .=)

Loving someone is just a second of heart beat .
Forgeting takes a life time .

ihave already waste my time on tryingto get your attention ,
to look back at me once . justonce .

But in your eyes.. your heart have long gone already .
yide arh , you are so pathetic .
Many dreams we had still lingers in my mind ,
so let it be then , before i lose my last piece of innocent .

Get up , start runing , start doing what you should have done !
Stop this emotional thing .
Be bloody hell stronger .
you have been wishy washy for 16 years !

I could say i love you , it hurts me deep in my heart .

Haha. Liking someone makes me childish .
stupid , but yeah ... thats yide for sure .

还是忘了爱的勉强
让你看透我的心现在我不想是该说放就放
就试着遗忘
痛苦我会遗忘只想看你开心的模样
新的恋情让它成长
而过去就放在心上

i wonder ... how would i look like in ten years time ?
oh ... i would be 26 years old then ?

End : Let the old dreams slowly fade away .
embrace yourself for the other countless dreams .
For only those who still walks the past , still unable to get out .
for the key , you thought you can never find
but it was always in you hand .
it's either you give in the courage to open that locked door .
And smile .
so yide , just smile.
just smile let go of the chain that you are so unwilling to .
after today , you can sleep with the light close .

2008-11-24T09:11:00.000-08:00

Love in the ice

It's not your fault that these hands are cold.
Clinging onto
The wound of the past

Afraid to love someone .
Turning your back againt the true meaning of love.

Like ice , the sorrow that once hugged the heart will slowly melt.

To be loved by someone .. anyone will
makes life shine
Like this .

If it was me , i will make your heart once again .
Warm it will undying love .

Fate's play .

Althought it will make my heart ache when the tears ends.

Hitosuguno , hikari . Gami no na kano miolite
A ray of light . Decends from the darkness

We can grasp it .
We are able to feel...
the fierce painfull touch of a person's warmth .

Sorrow and loneliness that everyone will endure
Searching for a refuge to mend

yes , for you the place is here
Don't worry , don't falter anymore

i will protect you

Because it is a love (My heart ......)
As beautifull
As it is miserable (Don't be afraid~ ....)
This beautifull (Let you know my heart.....)
Beautifull time (You know ! ~)
It is ephemeral (let you know my LOVE ! ~)

ah~

2008-11-21T09:21:00.000-08:00

YIDE IS VERY LAZY TO POST .
HEHE =X
SUPER DUPER LAZY !!
okays... THIS SHALL BE THE POST FOR THE WEEK =X

I found my new love =3

Her name?

G r e e n t e a ~!

Surname?

POKKKA !

hehe. hmm... how could i describe it ? Love at first sight .
it's like i was sitting in bus when suddenly i caught a glimps of her .
She WAS VERY BEAUTI-GREEN =X
OH MY GAWD !
I WAS Like ....
*(The words in the following can be VERY DISTURBING , Like i said "disturbing)
OMFG ?! WTF?! HOLY **** ?! TMD ?!

and i wanna say is .
Actually , yide is a good boy =)

2008-11-19T07:42:00.000-08:00

Ei !
Wahahaha~ yide's back to post~

And btw .. i have decided to be happy again !
lol , that's pretty random isn't it?
BUT YEAH !!!
I am gonna be a happy boy !

okay.... i think i will update on the chalet tommorrow.
after i come back from kelly services and lot 1 .
i seriously need to improve my english .
sigh. i should go lot 1 to borrow somebooks tommorrow .
Can't believe i've just lost to a secondary two kid on word puzzle .

Conclusion : Yide has VERY limited vocabulary . =X

My mom just snatch my green tea this morning and i was very very very moody =T.

NO ONE SNATCHES MY GREEN TEA I TELL YOU NO ONE *Grins* *agitated*

lol , it's kinda late , i think i need my kiddy nap now ~.
GoodNight .

2008-11-17T00:54:00.006-08:00

You Should Follow Christianity

You believe in the Holy Trinity, and that Jesus walked the earth as the son of God.

You also believe that all people sin and that God will forgive you for your sins.

Your relationship with God is very important to you.

You strengthen your faith through prayer, worship, and Bible study.

What Religion Should You Be?

2008-11-17T00:54:00.005-08:00

You Are Green Tea

You are a well balanced person. You don't have many highs or lows in your life.

You enjoy bursts of creative energy and productivity. But you also enjoy your downtime.

You are insightful and philosophical. You don't take much personally.

You are at peace with who you are. You don't have an inflated sense of self.

What Kind of Tea Are You?

2008-11-17T00:54:00.003-08:00

You Should Learn French

C'est super! You appreciate the finer things in life... wine, art, cheese, love affairs.

You are definitely a Parisian at heart. You just need your tongue to catch up...

What Language Should You Learn?

2008-11-17T00:54:00.001-08:00

The Keys to Your Heart

You are attracted to those who have a split personality - cold as ice on the outside but hot as fire in the heart.

In love, you feel the most alive when things are straight-forward, and you're told that you're loved.

You'd like to your lover to think you are stylish and alluring.

You would be forced to break up with someone who was emotional, moody, and difficult to please.

Your ideal relationship is comforting. You crave a relationship where you always feel warmth and love.

Your risk of cheating is zero. You care about society and morality. You would never break a commitment.

You think of marriage as something precious. You'll treasure marriage and treat it as sacred.

In this moment, you think of love as something you don't need. You just feel like flirting around and playing right now.

What Are The Keys To Your Heart?

2008-11-16T08:27:00.000-08:00

Very Busy .

Will update someday =X

2008-11-12T17:48:00.000-08:00

望着广场的时钟你还在我的怀里躲风
不习惯言不由衷
沉默如何能让你都懂
此刻与你相拥
也算有始有终
祝福有许多种
心痛却尽在不言中
请你一定要比我幸福
才不枉费我狼狈退出
再痛也不说苦
爱不用抱歉来弭补
至少我能成全你的追逐
请记得你要比我幸福
才值得我对自己残酷
我默默的倒数
最后再把你看清楚看
你眼里的我好馍糊
慢慢被放逐
望着广场的时钟你还在我的怀里躲风
不习惯言不由衷
沉默如何能让你都懂
此刻与你相拥
也算有始有终
祝福有许多种
心痛却尽在不言中
请你一定要比我幸福
才不枉费我狼狈退出
再痛也不说苦爱不用抱歉来弭补
至少我能成全你的追逐
请记得你要比我幸福
才值得我对自己残酷
我默默的倒数
最后再把你看清楚
看你眼里的我好馍糊
慢慢被放逐
放心去追逐你的幸福
别管我愿不愿孤不孤独
都别在乎!
请你一定要比我幸福
才不枉费我狼狈退出
再痛也不说苦
爱不用抱歉来弭补
至少我能成全你的追逐
请记得你要比我幸福
才值得我对自己残酷
我默默的倒数
最后再把你看清楚看你眼里的我好馍糊
慢慢被放逐
放心去追逐你的幸福
别管我愿不愿孤不孤
独都别在乎!

2008-10-31T08:50:00.000-07:00

Hey! I'm back to P-O-S-T =D !

Hmm.... math paper 2 was really difficult =T !

But i had been perparing for the last 6 months so..... it's gonna be alright !

O-levels iis coming to an end but somehow it feels like everything i know is gonna change .. it is scaring me out but! i know it's gonna change for the better ^^

Hmm.... Hope that i can get into chemical processing engineering . NO! it's a known that i am going into chemical processing engineering =)) !

haha , im a pokemon fanatic ! =P

this is the debt that pokemon owe me =X , i never had a gameboy to play with since i was young =(( .

Lol ! i remeber my favourite show was high five when i was about primary 3?

oh well.... Life is every changing .. but somehow i feel so empty inside me .

This feeling had been harassing me since 2 years ago =T

What could this mean ? I know it , but i will refuse to adknowledge that feeling.

hmm... even if i were to say ... but , i don't think that i have that courage anymore.

OH WELL !

lets just await for that day when these courage come back to me ^^v.

But , that would be too late isn't it ?

Lol , i got 2 dates on 6/10/08 !

pizza hut and Badminton =))))!!

hehe .. lol , yanngee (Xiaopang) told me that Geography was difficult =T , hmm... but i thought that it was easy =P .

oh well there's so much more happenning in my life ... so much more feeling that i want to tell about ...

Perphaps ... just perphaps that i might push this burden down someday .

For Life , i'm stuck with .

The mess i got in .

The heart that i lost.

I will strive hard to obtain the goals i set ! ^^v Cheers !

I hope that this will not be a sad blog anymore =)) !

Stay happy !

2008-10-28T08:48:00.000-07:00

Hello ...

Today is not a happy day , as usual .. =T

Oh well , i'm just like the sad little puppy(above) ...

T.T

But the puppy know that it's love will come one day .

Having 4 relationship for this few years made me so tired .

It always end with a bad ending .

A twisted tale of mine .

Ahhh!

i just one that last forever !!!!!

Yide says " im gonna work after o level ! "

haha , i want to live a bright future !

i shall not question my feelings anymore .

i wanna be happy

H-A-P-P-Y ^^ !

Okay yide is going into super mugging mode =D !

Muggggggggers , FOREVER !

haha ... btw , i love this blog's song .

~.~ So nice ...

2008-10-20T03:24:00.000-07:00

There was a girl that asked a boy .
What was your dream ?
The boy answered , " Live a good life =) " .
The boy answered the question cheekly .
He thought it was just a minor question ,
He misses the girl every single minute every day of his life .

The girl said that he was not in her future neither was her's in his .
The boy cried in his heart .
In the end , he said thankyou .
Stupid was'nt he ?
He do not need any sympathy . no one would show any sympathy .

That boy had simillar loveline though his teenage years and he is sick of it .
He will stay out of love .
How many years until he can walk out of it ? No one knows , not even himself.
i think he should just get knock over by a car =).
爱不爱都痛,最后你要自由.
站在原地的我,只能不断哭泣,
只好祝福你幸福.祝你永远幸福.

我爱疯了我疯到自己痛也不晓得
放弃了保护自己的责任
放弃了抵抗脆弱的天份
我不管了
我不管这伤口能不能愈合
你一个语气都无法确认
这种缺乏是什么象征
不开灯我不要开灯
我身边容不下别的人
不锁门我不要锁门
你回来是一种信任
我那么的认真
去思考你对我的认真
或许是多么伤害人
而结论始终是疑问
我爱疯了

2008-10-11T10:19:00.000-07:00

I had this dream yesterday =X .

I had dreamt of having a perfect life .

A cute wife who knows how to play basketball well =x .
A cute little dog .
Twins .
A a steady income .
And beautifull place , i call home =).

Was it just a dream ?
i won't accept it as a dream , it will be real =)

Perhaps , that might never come true .
But holding on onto my goals , just makes me feel good =)

Ah... got back my results =.=
all b3 =T .

OH WELL !

Argued with wenjie the other day .
But i got to admit that a larger part of it is my fault .
I'm losing myself in the process of protecting myself .
I almost lost a friend =T .
Tsk tsk . Yide ..... CONTROL =T .

Freakingly irritated by The " HIM "
I HATE people saying that i got a girl's voice =/ .
AND SORRY if i'm too gentle .
DIU NI LOU MO =) !
so what? irritate others to make yourself look man ?
What? complaint like a slut to make people accept you?
? Have a bitching sacastic tone ?
WHAT ? She said that you are ugly , i don't agree .
But you got a ugly heart =)
FACE IT =)

THATS ALL FOR TODAY =)

2008-10-10T05:30:00.000-07:00

n- n- now th- that don't kill me can only make me stronger
i need you to hurry up now cause i can't wait much longer
i know i got to be right now cause i can't get much wronger
man i've been waitin' all night
now that's how long i've been on ya i need you right
now i need you right now let's get lost tonight
you could be my black kate moss tonight play secretary,
i'm the boss tonight and you don't give a f**k what they all say right?
awesome, the christian and and christian dior damn,
they don't make 'em like this anymore i ask,
cause i'm not sure do anybody make real shit anymore?
bow in the presence of greatness cause right now
thou has forsaken us
you should be honored by my lateness that i would even show up to this fake shit
so go ahead go nuts go ape shit
especially on my best stand on my bape shit act like you can't tell who made this new gospel homey, take six, and take this, haters n- n- now th- that don't kill me can only make me stronger i need you to hurry up now
cause i can't wait much longer
i know i got to be right now cause i can't get much wronger man
i've been waitin' all night now that's how long
i've been on ya i need you right now i need you right now
i don't know if you got a man or not,
if you made plans or not god put me in the plans or not
i'm trippin' this drink got me sayin' a lot
but i know that god put you in front of me so how the hell could you front on me?
there's a thousand you's, there's only one of me i'm trippin',
i'm caught up in the moment right?
this is louis vuitton dime night so we gon' do everything that kan like heard
they'd do anything for a klondike well
i'd do anything for a blonde-dike and she'll do anything for the limelight and we'll do anything when the time's right ugh, baby,
you're makin' it (harder, better, faster, stronger)
n- n- now th- that don't kill me can only make me stronger
i need you to hurry up now cause i can't wait much longer
i know i got to be right now cause i can't get much wronger man
i've been waitin' all night now
that's how long i've been on ya i need you right now
i need you right now you know how long i've been on ya?
since prince was on apollonia
since oj had isotoners
don't act like i never told ya baby,
you're making it (harder, better, faster, stronger)
n- n- now th- that don't kill me can only make me stronger
i need you to hurry up now cause
i can't wait much longer
i know i got to be right now cause
i cant get much wronger man
i've been waitin' all night now that's how long
i've been on ya i need you right now you know how long i've been on ya?
since prince was on apollonia
since oj had isotoners
don't act like i never told ya never told ya

Stronger , yea .

I am stronger =) ! ^^V

2008-10-04T03:49:00.000-07:00

BOO !

Back to blogging ! Yippie !

Hahas , decided to quit DOTA ! =))

Btw , i wanna say foremost is that i love my room =)

Lol , wanted to up load a picture of my majong-ing times with 损友门.

Lets UPLOAD !

It's TADA !

Hahas , Jason was anoying during the tution just now =(

almost broke my basket ball hand =( .

Sians.... going over to cousion's house , BORING =T .

Thanks to ruisi for cheering me up yesterday !

Thumb up for a caring friend =)) !

Had a bump on my head just now , damn

bus handles . =X

Ahhhh , Being tall has it's disadvantage after all ^^ .

2008-10-03T03:18:00.000-07:00

把眼睛关上闭, 在想谁?

是谁把闯进我的世界?

我在第二四十七站的底下铁,

现在,会是谁陪我找底下铁的出口?

恋爱的滋味... 我忘了.

可惜,当我发现我爱你时.

你却离我而去.

伤上被割的伤,眼泪里的泪.

无奈.

天空下这雨,可是我在笑,哭笑不得的我.

希望,就这样把自己灌在书里.

疯了. so..
In the end , emotion-less .
They told me to forget ,
I told me to kill myself .
Kill all the emotion , for i deserve no one .
no one at all .
Smiles doesn't prove that a person is happy,
it might not .

2008-09-04T04:35:00.000-07:00

Just woke up with a bad headache .
Felt really piss again , why must he always need to wait for me to sleep before
kidnapping my laptop .
URRH =.=
hmm... maybe that's my reason for the headaches .
lol , I CAN'T WAIT FOR HIS BROTHER TO LIVE IN . =)
two devils runing side by side =)))) , awww...arn't that cute ?

On tuesday .
well.... It was a fine day ^^ but never-the-less i was a little bit shy =X
it has been years since i last dated someone and well....... i hope i left some good impressions ?
but i still find it wierd , why do we watch a bloody movie for the first date ?
oh well.... that means i was'nt thinking much was i ?

Sucks , i'm sooooo into tao zhi's song .
she has such a beaut voice =X .
i am so recomanding tao zhi's qi dai .

wow , today's dinner is a treat .
fishes =)

alright then lets acount for today .
hmm.. woke up at 7.24 am and felt like not getting up .
But being such a good boy , i got my ass up and went to take a shower before calling that pig to wake up =.= .
wait wait .... the irony is that
HE TOLD ME THAT SLEEPING LATE WAS BAD FOR SKIN THE OTHER DAY . =T
lols well... you can say that living with him isn't as pleasant as i thought it would be .

I hope i could finish reading the bible by this week , praise to the lord and his city of angels . =)
NO , im not gonna buy my way into heaven =)

AHHHHHA ! people are telling me to dota but will i sucumb to it ?
=.= guess i would anyway

2008-08-31T09:44:00.000-07:00

I am hurt by my closest people .

I hate them .

I really do .

Can you people grow up alittle ?

Can you don't be so mean ?

Can you teach me how to love ?

Can you make me to not hate you all ?

Every blood and tears soaked me up for 16 years , have you noticed.

What have you all ever did ?

My confidence . I don't have relative except for parents and those i love .

ANYWAY !

Happy teacher day !

This is the class i love , this is my love .

My everything . ^^

this kind of joy-ious event , brightens my life .

2008-08-18T05:07:00.000-07:00

Be Back after O's

I look forward to my poly life .

Lets just say , i have got over you .

Hopefully .

Let the endless night start.

Dolpins are just too cute ^^ =XXX

2008-08-13T03:21:00.000-07:00

Pisces : Pisces is so emotional, in fact, that it can tend toward depression or fatalism; the weight of the world can be too much to bear for someone so sensitive.

Gemini can teach Pisces to take a less emotional, more intellectual view of people and situations; this will help Pisces decide which pleas are deserving of attention and which are merely sob stories to be ignored. Virgo can help Pisces learn to be detailed and efficient, and enthusiastic Sagittarius can help Pisces learn to turn all that abstract emotionalism into optimism and adventure.

The magical mystery tour of romance with Pisces can be most unpredictable, with hearts and flowers one day and games with veils the next.

This mysterious quality that Pisceans possess can be quite the aphrodisiac in the game of love.

2008-06-28T04:53:00.000-07:00

It's been too long .

I was never happy , why force me to break a smile ?

Why knowing that i'm not happy , why continue to disture me ?

Are you stupid ?

Are you Dumb ?

Don't kao bei with me .

I DO NOT WISH TO SEE YOU .

I am trying my best to keep my anger downwards but your over coming the force .

This ain't Force x distance , don't balance my pivot by adding the anti clock wise moment .

I keep my stance now , DO NOT ASK ME WHY

YOU KNOW

FIND SOMEONE ELSE TO DO your FUCKING DIRTY JOB .

TO THINK THAT YOU MIGHT CHANGE .

it's just my waste of time .

2008-05-22T06:23:00.000-07:00

What's lost ?

Lol , Everything ..you tell me to update my blog but i can't ..
All i can remeber or recall ,
Is the painfull memories we had .

天色开始朦胧　
呼吸慢慢沉重
曾经深情的承诺　
像吹过的风
说什么天长地久　
只是敷衍带过
心中的痛
眼泪溶入漆黑的夜与昼
分开　
我们都选择了不会痛
而从今以后　
冰冷的手　
再也找不到你的温柔
为什么寂寞总是那么多
总习惯独自温习你遗留的伤痛
我不想再关上心随从我
彼此都隔着一层膜
静静的擦肩而过
天色开始朦胧　
呼吸慢慢沉重
曾经深情的承诺　
像吹过的风
说什么天长地久　
是敷衍带过心中的痛
眼泪溶入漆黑的夜与昼
分开　
我们都选择了不会痛
而从今以后　
冰冷的手　
再也找不到你的温柔
为什么寂寞总是那么多
总习惯独自温习你遗留的伤痛
我不想再关上心随从我
彼此都隔着一层膜
静静的擦肩而过空旷房间里头　
只残留着和焦虑的虚伪温柔放开所有
拥抱这自由让一切从头
为什么寂寞总是那么多
在孤单眼里　抱着你留下的伤口
我不想再关上心随从我是你那失落的梦　
静静的随风飘落是你那失落的梦　静静的擦肩而过
penetrating isn't it ?
But now .. I can move on ..
Thank you .. For being with me for just a while.

The way of survival with loneliness , is to live with loneliness itself.
I'm glad that , at least i have her by my side =).

2008-03-25T06:43:00.000-07:00

Hi , Back to post ... after a longggtime .

i only post when i start to feel EMO D:

yeayea , Another EMO D: day ...

Tsk Tsk

LOL , today went shop and Save with Bk , yy , joycelene and hs .
was another cute and fun day !

I'm starting to like her =x ...

Bu gan shuo chu kou , coz ... SHE GOT BF !!

lol , hiya chinese class can play with her is already quite good le !

these days feel like vomit , dunno why ... =x

Better eat more STRAWBERRIES !!!

sweet but sour , lol .

abit zhi xiang mao dun right ?

im just crazy ....

but don't ignore me please ! =D

Hope tomorrow is another good day .

CHEERS CHEERS CHEERS ,

AND GAMBETTE ; From MY CHUA YI NERD !

2008-03-25T06:34:00.001-07:00

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